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It’s not always easy to say no to a boss, a colleague or a friend at work. My clients are often torn between their workload, the number of hours they would like to work and their ambitions. They say « yes » more often because they don’t want to look bad, or feel obligated. There’s nothing wrong with it: my clients are committed people who love and aim for results. For some, saying no represents non-collaboration for them and this is not what they want to exude.
With this type of client, one of the strategies I apply is to establish the image they want to project (and why!), and then we establish a plan that corresponds to their ambition by including various healthy ways to achieve their goals.
A habit is to learn to say no without making enemies 🙂
Do you have one or more of the following symptoms?
- Stress : Are you overworked? Having trouble managing your time?
- Lack of energy : You accumulate frustrations… and it undermines you?
- Difficulties in gaining respect : Do you feel that you are being abused, or that your role is not respected?
- Responsibilities : Do you feel responsible for a lot? Do you tend to take too much on your shoulders?
If you recognize yourself, even a little, take action.
To what extent do you agree with the statements below:
- You can’t say no to a boss.
- You can’t say no to someone who has already done you a favor.
- You can’t say no to someone with whom you have a personal connection.
- You can’t say no to someone who has been referred to us.
If you agree with at least one statement, what do you think about:
Saying no to a request is not saying no to a person.
The 7 steps to say no without making enemies?
Imagine yourself in a situation where someone comes to you and you know that you will have a hard time saying no. Follow these steps:
- Look at the person, smile, and ask questions to fully understand the request. For example: What are their expectations of you? For when?
- Ask her how long it will take for her to respond.
- Reassure her that you will get back to her in time.
- Evaluate the request. How long does this request require on your part?
- Test how this request fits into your current priorities and tasks.
- Decide if you can respond affirmatively to this request.
- Communicate your answer
If no :
-
- Tell the person that you want to help them, but that unfortunately at this time you can’t do it because of your current load.
- Ask the person who else or what could help? Offer someone else, or a tool.
How to make a transition from « I-rarely-say-no » to « I-say-no-to-need »
Do you find my approach interesting, but not from there to do it?
Start by choosing a person, the one with whom you feel it will be the easiest.
Go ahead, get started!
Reflection: What would be the benefits for you of saying no to the requests you receive more often?
Comment: What do you think of this approach?
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